BEST DAY OF WORK EVER.
StunnedSo today I decided to go to work. WHAT A DAY.
So, I get to work today, and I start collecting the garbage and all that sort of stuff when Larry spots me. I work at LARRY'S PIZZA, so naturally, Larry is the boss, head hancho. He comes over to me and says, "Um, you're not working today."
I just stare at him and say, "Ye-yeah I am. They said I was." Larry just goes "O RLY!?" And I'm scared shitless and just stand there like a mute freak and he goes through the door to the kitchen. These two chicks are at the bar going "Wow. That sucks."
So I go over, and I'm all "Should I just go home?" and Larry's all "No, no, you'll just go home early." So I'm all GUILT-TRIP and I text Joe, who is my soon-to-be brother-in-law who worked at Larry's since he was like... 14, and I go "OMGWTFBBQ." and he says "I already know, Dave called. Don't worry about it - it's all taken care of." So I just said okay and got to work.
We have a sink in the back - well, it's like 3 sinks together in a nice shiny aluminum coat. You know, a generic 3-sinked industrial wet machine. Anyway, today they were not shiny so I decide to clean them.
A half an hour of scrubbing with this metal thingy and dawn later, the sinks as shiny! And clean! So I litterally just put the scrubby down when the sinks make this godawful gurgly noise when suddenly, all this really nasty water comes up and fills the three sinks to the top. I mean, theres uneaten food flaoting in there and shit, and I'm all "OH GOD, WHAT IS THIS!?"
So I call Bones over, my 19 year old co-worker, point to the now disgusting sinks WHICH I JUST FINISHED CLEANING, and go "What is this?" he mentions something about the grease trap. I got "...fuck my life."
So about an hour of cleaning this grease trap which contains maggots, uneaten food, chicken blood, EVERYTHING that gets washed down the sink pretty much, and the water still isn't going down. Bones goes "I wonder..." grabbed the toilet plunger and plunges one of the sinks. It was a clogged pipe. The water goes down, leaving icky sinks behind and he smiles and goes "Oh, I guess it wasn't the grease trap."
I think I bite a baby in half right there, BUT WAIT. IT GETS BETTER!
So I'm walking back over to the bar and I see Dave, middle-aged blad guy who runs register, with some sort of aerosol can and a knife, stabbing the tip saying "Fuck! It's broken!" I didn't question - once you work once in an environment like Larry's, you just learn not to ask.
I walk around him and I'm walking in front of him to get to the bar when I hear a "YES!" and hissing noise, and then I feel my back get covered with... something. I just go ._. and walk into the bar since I was halfway there, trying to play off that I don't have some sort of cleaner and I don't know why people are laughing. I come back over and Bones tells me that it's neon pink silly string. I'm all "...wut?"
So, laughing, Bones helps me scrape this entire can of gook off my back, Dave and Tat (new guy) laughing like hyenas. Larry, snickering, asks if I can take the trash out.
I fear taking the trash out now.
So I get the two bathrooms on the kitchen side, cross over to the bar and head to the guy's bathroom in back. I knock on the door loudly, you know, to check if someone was in there. No answer, so I open then door.
There, pissing into a urinal, pants around his ankles, PENIS IS FULL VIEW, is some fat middle-aged man. I just stood there, door open, the words "HOLY FUCK NAKED MAN PENIS PENIS PENIS" echoing through my head. I just go "Oh, sorry.' shut the door, and flee back to the kitchen, my eyes bleeding out of their sockets.
It's one thing if the first penis you see is your boyfriend or lovers, but when it's some fat drunk guys? YOU WILL BE TRAMATIZED.
So I find Bones and tell him. HE HAS THE NERVE TO LAUGH. I'm sure if I threw a vagina in his face, he would be just as scared.
So after 10 minutes, I go back over and, my eyes shut tight, grab the garbage from the bathroom (NO ONE WAS IN THERE NOW, BUT I DIDN'T CARE) and continued.
I wrapped everything up and came home.
:3
...
I SAW A PENIS TODAY, OH GOD. D8
Devious Comments
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"Are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me!?"
Welll HI there
VOCALOID ROX MY SOX!
DON"T CLICK----> [link]
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Avatar-raxasky (her gallery is amazing!) [link]
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"The mind, the soul, memory...all of it floating in that water. Time, and love, and terror, swimming through a body made mostly out of tears."-The Life Before Her Eyes-L. Kasischke
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"I don't understand why churches and 'family groups' spend millions of dollars a year on abstinence-only instruction when a World of Warcraft account only costs fifteen dollars a month and has a much better record of ensuring virginity."
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Avatar-raxasky (her gallery is amazing!) [link]
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"The mind, the soul, memory...all of it floating in that water. Time, and love, and terror, swimming through a body made mostly out of tears."-The Life Before Her Eyes-L. Kasischke
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*shakes a leek to the music like some robot* @v@ deebee deebee deebee da dayla doo..
Oh, it's GREAT. XD
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"I don't understand why churches and 'family groups' spend millions of dollars a year on abstinence-only instruction when a World of Warcraft account only costs fifteen dollars a month and has a much better record of ensuring virginity."
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Setting a trend by NOT having a signatu... Oh wait, never mind.
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"I don't understand why churches and 'family groups' spend millions of dollars a year on abstinence-only instruction when a World of Warcraft account only costs fifteen dollars a month and has a much better record of ensuring virginity."
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Usagi- Good day, everyone. Today's top story... Scandal erupts as members of the dark assembly are found snorting pixie sticks while dancing to the macarena.
~Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories Volume 1
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Forever Phangirl
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